As he sits there, the big earth volcano thing made of priests growling over him, he is blessed with an oddly calm bit of self-awareness. He can see himself in this situation, and he feels a bit of detachment from it. I am a psychopath, he thinks. I don't feel normal human emotions -- like terror... I compartmentalize... I separate... But that's not it... I'm not a psychopath... I do feel fear, now. I have never not felt fear since I came out of the darkness... But the fear I feel now is like... like an instruction manual... It is here to inform me... It has informed me, and now I am reacting according to its instructions. And reacting to its instructions means that I no longer feel the fear...
The thing formed when he decided to ask a question. He has hit a nerve, evidently. The thing feels defensive. Threatened. Only members of the order can ask a question of the committee? Okay then...
I want to join the order, he says.
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